Fire to the Third Bar
by mermaidpearls
Summary: Always concerned about the growing relationship between Usagi and Seiya, they never considered the real threat came from within their own circle.
1. Chapter 181

If there were one place she would be safe today, it would be the arcade.

Now, if today was any other day except Monday, that would not be the case. Every other day this location would be more like a lethal intervention than a safe haven. But Mondays meant study days, which meant no inner senshi would occupy its booths. And well, if there were a person she would bump into at the arcade, it would definitely not be Seiya.

So, on this Monday, tired, tiny feet pitter-pattered on the sidewalk before the entrance, the joyful bell rang upon her opening the door, and she dejectedly walked past the booths, which held the promise of ice cream shakes, and went straight to the game consoles. A racing game to be exact. For although the sweet taste of vanilla ice cream would put a certain skip in her step, she would have to sit down to drink it. And think. And think about Mamoru and his very loud absence. Or Seiya and their very obvious date. Or just you know, how she now had to deal with star seed stealers and the appearance of three senshi who seemed to despise any idea of them working together and then this crazy appearance of a red-haired two year old who dropped out of the sky from nowwhe-NO.

It would be much better to play the monotonous, action packed, car game.

Usagi sat in the black cushioned seat, inserted her money, and clicked the start button. Her spirits lifted briefly as she chose a red car and started to drive.

And promptly lost.

Her head fell limply upon the steering wheel, not before yelling an unmannered, "Ow, dammit!"

"Odango, are you talking to yourself again?"

Her head snapped back as she gazed at who spoke to her.

Haruka Tenoh.

As if this day could get any worse.

Not that she held any malicious feelings for the tall blonde, mind you. In fact it was quite the opposite. Haruka-chan, in all her charming and talented glory, made Usagi feel things she was certain she wasn't suppose to feel. Especially considering Haruka was a girl. Oh, and because she was eternally devoted to Mamo-chan. No pun here. Eternally didn't even seem to cover the half of it.

It was rather a gift of Usagi's, thanks to many years of Sailor Moon, to learn how to hide and disguise. Not just identity, but her feelings as well. So we with a sweet giggle, and a flip of one of her extravagantly long ponytails, Usagi responded to the entrancing senshi, "Hey, stranger things have happened."

It was a lame come back, not very witty, and not very intelligent, but Usagi had nothing to grab from, nothing to pull from. She felt empty.

"Oh Usagi-chan," Haruka gave a half smirk and gracefully dropped herself in the black seat right next to Usagi. "You can come up with something better than that." Turning away, Usagi couldn't help but noticed the red blaring words "Game Over" appear multiple times on the screen. The cynical thought briefly flitted in her head, _just like my life_.

"Did you go on that date with Seiya?"

Usagi quickly turned her head back to Haruka and was met with questioning and guarding eyes. "It wasn't a date!" she quickly defended. "We were just hanging out. That's all."

"Well what happened? You look terrible."

_Not much happened. I just thought he was trying to sleep with me, but he really only took me dancing, which ended with an enemy being summoned not to mention the Sailor Starli-_

But again. Why even go into that?

"He didn't kiss me, if that's what you're implying." Usagi unconsciously gripped the ends of her skirt in frustration. "You and Rei should start an Anti-Seiya-and-Usagi- club."

"Usagi-chan, you're with Mamoru-san-"

"I know!" she spat out. "I know! We're a couple, and he's my boyfriend, and I wouldn't cheat on him!" As an afterthought she added, "Besides, if I were to cheat on him, it wouldn't be with Seiya!"

Haruka leaned forward, her left eyebrow twitching on its own accord as it rose up, "Odango, do you have someone planned to cheat with?"

_Yes. You. Unfortunately you need to be a consenting adult._

Her eyes dropped miserable to the floor and focused on a discarded paper cup. "I do love my Mamo-chan, but one can't help but wonder…"

"Usa-"

"But it would never work!" Usagi eyes, wide and blue, looked shock as she gazed at Haruka. "I've already thought about it!"

"What are you talking about?" Haruka dragged an impatient hand through her long bangs and couldn't only stare at her friend in confusion. Ignoring the set rules of personal space, she dropped her hand on Usagi's chair, dropped the other on her steering wheel, and practically almost touched noses with her as her head bent down in exasperation. "You've thought of cheating on Mamoru-san who? And his name is not Seiya?"

Usagi shook her head rapidly. "It's not like that," she whispered, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach with Haruka's face at such close proximity. "I'm Sailor Moon, I've very much aware of worst case sceanarios. What if we broke up? What would happen? Would I be safe? Would the world be safe?"

Haruka, backing away from Usagi's face for a millimeter or two, refused to break their stare. "I don't understand why your love life will affect the planet."

"But it will, Haruka!" She winced as she heard her voice become shrill. She paused and lowered her voice again. "At first, it was the Dead Moon Family,"

Haruka's head tilted in question and Usagi quickly muttered, "Before we met."

At Haruka's nod, she continued. "But then, the whole reason the Dead Moon Family came back in the past was because of Chibi-Usa. So maybe if Chibi-Usa didn't exist, they never would have come to present-day Tokyo. I thought I could leave it opened ended. But you saw what happened with Queen Nelehenia! You can't deny it!"

"Usagi," Haruka responded softly. Her delicate hand fell on Usagi's shoulder as a soothing touch. "What are you talking about?"

"'Ruka," Usagi almost choked as she summoned all her energy to not cry. She would not cry. Not in Haruka's presence, on this non-studying Monday. "The only reason Nelehenia was defeated the first time around was because of Chibi-Usa and her dream with Elios. We _need_ Chibi-Usa to survive."

Haruka's hand fell away quickly to ball in a fist on her lap. "You're staying with Mamoru-san to save the world?"

"Isn't that my job?"

A silence filled the air. "That's no way to live, Odango."

Another second passed by.

"That's no way to love."

Usagi's resolve broke into pieces as Haruka's word echoed deep in her heart. Tears beyond her control clouded the lower half of her eyes, making them the color of the sky. She refused to let them fall. Why couldn't anyone understand Seiya kept the demons at bay? Haruka was unreachable figuratively, Mamoru was unreachable literally.

"Usagi-chan, gomen nasai, I spoke out of line. Forgive me."

She spoke, frowning, barely audible, "I always forgive you."

At her acceptance, Usagi found herself in a tight and warm embrace, but knew she was thoroughly misunderstood. Haruka, her favorite confidant, didn't understand a fraction of it. And it was only then with this realization the tears began to fall.

"Koneko-chan, you deserve the best. What you want and desire should always be your top priority."

"Like you?"

A kiss was dropped on her forehead. "I have a family and a child I never thought I could have."

Usagi held back her sobs. "I'm happy for you. You deserve your dreams."

"So do you." With a final squeeze and kiss on the cheek, Haruka carefully let go of the younger girl, leaning back once again in her own seat. Each inch of distance put a bigger hole in Usagi's heart.

She stood up and wistfully looked at Usagi before checking her watch. "Speaking of family, Hotaru is home by now. I should relieve Setsuna." She paused and scanned Usagi's face pensively. "Perhaps you should call Mamoru tonight. It would be good for both of you."

Ha. If Usagi actually knew his phone number. But it didn't seem like the best time to reveal that small fact.

"Usa."

She looked up.

Placing both hands on her shoulders, Haruka once again came close and bumped noses with Usagi. "No more dates with Seiya, do you hear me? I will tear him apart, limb by limb. Understood?"

She briefly thought of questioning why, but figured there would be no point. Who knew why the tomboy felt strangely overprotective over a harmless teenager, but couldn't care less if she married her current boyfriend?

"Hai."

Another kiss was delivered on her forehead and then Haruka was gone.

Usagi briefly thought about having a funeral for her heart.

Once again the blaring video screen entranced her before she heard her name called again.

"What now?" she all but growled, and turned around to see a grinning Motoki.

"Hey Usagi-chan! Sorry to bother your game, I was just wondering how Mamoru-san was?"

A plastic smile sprang to her lips as she stood up and answered, "He's doing great. Keeping busy, but the professors love his work. He might stay in America even longer than planned."

As Motoki eyes grew wide in amazement and congratulated her, Usagi walked away uncaring that she just blatantly lied. Just add it to the list.


	2. Chapter 188

Konnichwa! I apologize for the lack of author notes, (which I'm sure only 5% of you read anyway), just learning a little bit about the mechanics of fan . Anyways, first I would like to thank all who have read this story, reviewed, or asked for chapter updates. Special thanks goes to **PSVT** for such a sweet and thoughtful review. I was thrilled to see you knew exactly what I'm trying to express and portray.

Just for a little backstory: I first watched Sailor Moon like, oh, just eleven years ago. Only having access to the first few seasons, I never watched the last season, Sailor Stars, until a few weeks ago. And fell completely in love. I adore the plot, the characters, everything. It was also not until this season that I saw a spark between Usagi and Haruka. And at the same time fell hard for Seiya. But still appreciated Mamoru for all his quality features. I wanted to explore Haruka and Usagi's connection during this intriguing time. I felt it was very possible and understandable for them to have a few stolen moments;) I am doing the best of my ability to stay true to their characters, so, no Mamoru hating over here. Obviously Haruka and Usagi are both women, so if this offends you, please read no further. I hope to write a believable and emotional story here, one that you can easily imagine taking place during this final season. This work will be a collection of vignettes and will be written true to the anime timeline, except perhaps for Usagi and Haruka's background, which I take from the Manga. I'd love to hear what you think, it really helps me sort through these plot bunnies and write a chapter or two;)

* * *

The tea was heated, the cups delicately arranged on their saucers. The textbooks were opened to the correct assigned problems. The guardians were seated patiently; their tails swinging back and forth like a rhythmic pendulum. Even the girls were seated in their correct place, not a second late for their important appointment. No one dared to even think about being tardy to such a crucial meeting. That is, except one reluctant and distant leader.

"Where the HELL is she?" the fire of senshi all but bellowed in the tiny space that was her bedroom. The other three girls winced as the sounds echoed from wall to wall. Almost as a mediator, Makoto pulled a plastic bag from her knapsack. "Um, cookie, Rei?"

Violet eyes all but burned a hole in the cook's face, as her eyebrows danced angrily across her forehead. "No. What I want is a certain blond no-show to appear RIGHT NOW!"

Silence met Rei's demand, except for a cough. Everyone turned in the direction of the sound. Minako grinned. "Can I have a cookie?" Stifling a giggle, Makoto passed the zip lock bag to the blond. "Rei-chan. You know Usagi. She's just late. She'll make it."

"You shouldn't count on it." Luna pounced on the table, just narrowly missing the large teapot, with steam still flowing out of its stout. "Something's wrong."

Releasing her balled fists, Hino Rei inhaled deeply, closed her eyes, and centered herself. She smoothed her ruffled skirt and folded her hands, lightly placing them on her lap. Forcing her face in a relaxed smile, she softly asked, "What do you mean, Luna?"

"Have you guys already forgotten?" Ami looked at her friends in disbelief. "Usagi hasn't spoken to Seiya or the other starlights since...since..you know, the flight."

Heavy silence descended on the group for the first time since they arrived. Rei felt a wave of compassion wash over her and her smile dropped to a painful frown. It was absolutely heartbreaking watching the looks the starlights had given Sailor Moon when they had finally boarded off the plane. Her friend and leader seemed almost desperate to catch their eyes as all the passengers had poured into the airport. And when she had finally exchanged glances with them, all that she was met with was hateful glances. As Rei was accustomed to one too many times to count, she watched Usagi push tears back, swallow and lead them back home. Anyone blind could see the blossoming care and affection the Starlight Singer held for Usagi, but Rei hadn't realized how much of this Usagi returned. But equally as confusing, was Usagi dedication to write Mamoru a letter every single day. There were many of nights, Usagi didn't return Rei's phone calls to well after midnight on account of her finishing yet another letter to him. Shaking her head as if to clear all these thoughts battling in her mind, Rei ignored Ami's comment and concernedly stared at Luna, and once again repeated, "What do you mean, Luna?"

Ami, who looked annoyed at being ignored, opened her mouth, but before a word could come out, Rei interrupted. "Ami, I'm asking Luna what she has seen. After all, we don't live with Usagi."

Luna sat on the table, careful to not knock the teacups that surrounded her. "She's been coming home really late, way after one or two AM. She makes it to school, but she somehow makes it home even before Chibi-Chibi is let out of her daycare. She is usually always in Chibi-Usa's old room and requests privacy. Where she is after dinner and before she finally climbs into bed is beyond me. Wherever she is, she doesn't want me to be a part of it." After knowing Luna for the last three years, it was easy to hear the hurt in her voice. _I know how you feel_, Rei couldn't help but think. Still, she reached across the table to give Luna a reassuring rub on her back. "Luna, I don't think she wants any of us a part of it."

Ami, who always protected and defended Usagi, except when the accusations were concerned with academic grades, spoke up. "We talked a little bit about it yesterday."

"You did?" Makoto looked shocked. "She hardly said one word to Mina-chan and I at school." Minako took the open opportunity to pick up the teapot and start pouring tea as they finally made some leeway.

"It wasn't long, mind you. Don't feel left out. I noticed her zoning out in class."

"That's nothing new," Minako interrupted, as she poured two teaspoons of sugar in teacup and began to stir. "She always zones out."

Ami nodded in agreement at her statement. "Yes, I know and I agree. But she just looked so...sad. But not just depressed. Her eyes had such a desperate look in them. As if she was hopeless."

"There's no reason for her to feel that way!" Rei snapped, slamming her hand down. The force caused Makoto's tea to slosh on the sides of her cup. "Sorry," Rei murmured handing over a napkin.

"I thought so too," Ami agreed again. "So I asked her why she looked so hopeless. I've seen Usagi be depressed about many things, from her break-up with Mamoru to a failed test, and I've never seen this despair. I noticed how she blatantly refused to look at Seiya's, Yaten's, and Taiki's empty desks."

Minako eyes seemed to tear up on their own accord as Ami described their best friend's sadness. "What did she say?"

Ami sighed. "Not much. She said she's tired of seeing painful reminders of her mistakes. She said she carries too much emotional baggage. She said she misses her freedom."

Everyone's face turned into looks of puzzlement. "Freedom?" asked Luna. "Like freedom of not being a senshi?"

Ami shook her head. "I thought the same thing. I asked her about it, and she denied it saying 'The freedom of not caring.' After that the bell rang for dismissal, and she left so fast, I briefly wondered if I had imagined the whole conversation."

Minako finished drinking her tea and all but dropped the cup on the table. Everyone jumped at the sudden sound of clattering dishes. "I think that maybe sometimes we need to let her fight her own battles. She'll come to us when she's ready."

Makoto blinked at Minako in shock. "Why do sometimes you say the wisest things?"

Rei burst into laughter. It was the first joyful sound they heard all afternoon. "Wise, but true." She turned to the cat guardians, and abruptly changed the subject. "Luna, although concerned that we know the true identities about the Sailor Lights and they know ours, I don't think that puts us in any real danger. Do you or Artemis after any more insights about Sailor Lead Crow?"

As the meeting quickly turned from the focus of Usagi to their actual Senshi concerns, no one noticed Minako dig hurriedly in her bag for a small notebook, flipping frantically until she landed on a certain page, and look up with determined eyes. "Rei-chan, can I borrow your phone?"

* * *

Aino Minako let out an exasperated sigh as finally discovered the Shinto Temple's telephone. After dodging Rei's ridiculous grandfather, and checking what seemed like every other room in the temple, she located the device. Strangely enough, it was placed in the entrance hall of the establishment. Turns out Rei's vague finger pointing "that way" was of no use to Minako. Rolling her eyes at the moody priestess, she picked up the phone. It was nice to know these type of inventions still existed. It was your classic telephone, complete with phone cord and receiver. No wireless phones would be found in such a religious atmosphere. As if technology was the work of demonic gods.

Minako brought her notepad to closer inspection as she dialed the Outers' phone number. It was by chance she had even written it down. In fact, she was pretty sure the only reason she did so was because at an event a couple of months ago Michiru had offered free violin lessons. Minako, being the inspiring and ambitious girl that she is, immediately requested her phone number. And Minako, being the whimsical and distracted girl that she is, never call her. But now, as she dialed the number, she hoped that a certain race car driver would be home.

When people called Minako a typical blond, they had many reasons to do so. She constantly heard things that went over her head, she routinely messed up any kind of cliche phrase, and had a hard time paying attention in math class. She was often forgetful, boy crazy, (but sometimes had to remember who was the crush of the day), and thrived on acting out on emotional whims. Each day she thought of a bigger dream, a brighter future, and most importantly, a cuter man to join her for the ride. Responsible and level- headed were the absolute antonyms of Minako and she knew it. But if there was one thing that was Mina's expertise, it would be love. Except for herself, of course. It was hard to describe, but she felt sparks. She saw connections. She heard affection. It was simply indescribable, but for lack of a better word, she would call it a "hunch". A deep pull inside of herself that left her knowing without a doubt. And there were many sparks, connections, and affections between Usagi and Haruka.

Of course, she noticed it when they were all first met. But Usagi had always been with Mamoru and Haruka had always been with Michiru. Although her gut said otherwise, Minako had always written it off as a close friendship or Haruka's protectiveness for their princess. It was no secret that Haruka had a strong sense of duty and would die for that duty. A close friendship was easily overlooked.

It wasn't until a few months ago that her opinion had completely changed. It was a normal Saturday, nothing special or exciting to remember about this date. They were at someone's apartment, this day was such of no consequence Minako couldn't even recall the setting. Someone was making dinner, okay, had to be Makoto, and the whole sailor senshi had simply gotten together to enjoy each other's company without the stress of mortal peril. Even Usagi-chan was acting normal. The only reason she noticed something was off was when Minako ate another cupcake for the third of fourth time. And she was the only one eating them. No one else would have detected this, but Minako was very accustomed to having a "pigging-out" buddy. She zeroed in at Usagi, who stood next to Mamoru, and was talking with Setsuna. She was smiling, hand in hand with Mamoru-san, and laughing. There was nothing to alert her, except that she was the only one eating the cupcakes. And if she knew Usagi, Usagi did not resist cupcakes.

Swallowing the last bite, she crumbled the circular muffin liner and threw it away. She walked back to the living room, dropped herself onto the sofa in a rather unceremonious manner, and placed her chin on her fist, deep in thought. "Usagi-chan, you're upset," she muttered. She didn't even realize she had voiced the thought out loud.

"I know." Minako all but jumped and turned to see she had unknowingly plopped herself right next to Haruka. "She didn't plan on missing Chibi-Usa this much. I never would have guessed."

The solemn girl gave Minako a half-smiling and looked at her in understanding. Like she too knew that Usagi apparently missed Chibi-Usa so much she couldn't eat. Minako just grinned naively at Haruka, acting as if she knew exactly what Haruka was referring to and lied, "Oh yeah. I was surprised too when I found out."

It was in that moment everything had been confirmed. There was a deeper bond than first met Minako's eye. The fact that Haruka had known such an intimate detail on Usagi's emotional state, while she, knew _nothing_ of the sort not only hurt her, but also made her very aware of just how much one could ignored just because you would never consider it an option. The main reason she never considered it, even more so than Usagi's attachment to Mamoru-san, was that Usagi-chan was a girl, and last time she checked, she was not interested in other women. And although a ditz, Minako was now conscious that there was something more to this relationship than just a quick right off of "protective guardian". Haruka apparently offered something that Usagi's four best friends did not.

"Moshi Moshi!" Minako blinked out of her musings as she heard the sweet and angelic voice on the other line.

"Gomen, gomen, uh, Hotaru-chan?" She almost forgot that Haruka lived with, like, three other people. She practically had a family.

"Hai! Whose this?"

"Hey, it's Minako, I was wondering-"

"MINAKO-CHAN!" Minako pulled the receiver away from her ear, wincing as the eager child screamed in her ear. Returning to the phone, she replied, "How're you? How's school?"

"Good! I'm learning fractions."

"Gross, always hated those things." Minako wrinkled her noise up in disgust. "Hey, can I speak to your Haruka-papa?"

"Hai! I think she's taking a nap. Hold on."

"Matte!" Minako was met with no answer. _Dammit_! She was going to get an earful. Nervously, she curled her finger around the phone cord, hoping again hope Haruka would be in a good mood. She had a feeling this wouldn't end well.

As she waited, she wondered how exactly she would bring up the subject. She didn't want to worry the girl, but at the same time, she knew if Usagi could be reached, it would be through Haruka.

"What do you want?" a voice snapped at her on the other line. _Oops. _It definitely did sound like Haruka was sleeping. Now, how to proceed?

"Gomen nasai! I didn't mean for Hotaru-chan to wake you up. I know you all have been busy with Michiru's concerts-"

"Is there a point to your call, Mina? Because if there isn't, I'm hanging up."

_God, the girl could be lethal. _Minako felt her confidence fading. Maybe Haruka wasn't the best to call. "We were just in a senshi meeting-"

"I know," Haruka once again interrupted. "I already spoke to Rei about it. We couldn't make it, things have been intense around here. We'll catch up later."

"Glad to know it," Minako babbled. Maybe teasing would be a good way to introduce the topic. "You sound so enthusiastic to speak to me!"

"Minako, when do you ever know me to be enthusiastic?"

"When you're around Usagi," Minako deadpanned.

Dead silence answered her back. After waiting the five second courtesy for Haruka to respond, she opened her mouth to apologize. _Bad idea, Minako! Bad, bad, bad!_

But she was cut off before she could say anything.

"What are you talking about?" Haruka's voice was soft and calm. But not in a serene way. In fact, Minako's knees started to shake as she realized what tedious ground she was on.

Forcing the most fake laugh imaginable, she answered, "Oh, well, speaking of Usagi, have you talked to her recently?"

Once again, Minako was met with silence. The lack of responses was killing Minako, not only since they were talking of such a serious subject, but silence was not a thing extroverts liked to be confronted with. In fact, Minako knew she had a bad habit of babbling when there was too much of not talking. Her finger, still wrapped in death grip by the phone cord was now losing circulation. She was just about to call it a day when-

"She hasn't been returning my phone calls." Haruka's voice was again soft, but it lacked the venom from before. It sounded almost vulnerable.

A small gasp was released from Minako in disbelief. "Really?"

"Hai."

Frustrated, she rubbed her eyes in defeat. "I thought for sure she would have called you. Ever since she was attacked, she's been-"

"Nani? Wait. She was attacked? What are you talking about?" Haruka voice rose in volume with each question.

Minako once again felt the size of an ant. "Um, uh, you didn't know?"

"How would I know?" she all but yelled. "You're suppose protect her. I rely on you, her _close friends, _to inform me."

"Well, I thought she would have told you herself, because you two seem _closer _than we ever could be!" she heatedly snapped back. And immediately panicked once the words settled in.

"Haruka-san, gomen nasi, I just meant I thought you already knew since she isn't talking to us!" Tears sprang to her eyes for the second time that day. "She's avoiding us, and I thought for sure she was confiding with you!"

"I'm going find her," was Haruka's stern and emotionless reply, and then Minako heard a click, followed by the steady dial tone of the phone hanging up.

Shaking, Minako replaced the phone on the receiver and hoped that Haruka could reach Usagi. And that she wouldn't kill Minako after.


	3. Chapter 189

Please except my deepest apologies for the delay of this chapter. I really have no excuse. None at all. As usual, I got distracted with work and school. It isn't a very long one, but I'm glad to finally put one out. Thanks so much for all the reviews; you are truly my muse. It's motivating to hear from all of you and I thank you.

It was time for spring-cleaning Usagi decided. Nevermind that it was the dead middle of October, with its chilly breezes and early sunsets. It was time to clean house, to be renewed, tabula rusa, like she had just learned in Psychology. If there were anyone ready for a blank slate, it would be Usagi.

It was one thing to suffer from one broken heart, but to have to endure three different ones was a completely different matter. It was a bit more than she could bare.

Breathing in, Usagi took a deep gulp of the fall air. It was quiet and peaceful. She took in her surroundings with a slight grimace at her lips. Lotus Gardens was a park tucked away in a corner of Tokyo. She and Haruka had come upon it two years ago, the period she wasn't talking to Mamo-chan, and she had kept it a secret. A secret garden for her and Haruka. Usagi snorted at the thought. _That _didn't last long.

In fact, the developing of her relationship with Haruka was nothing of consequence at first. It was obvious from the beginning that Haruka and Michiru were not going to be the inners' close confidants. The relationship with the outers would be more of a mutual respect and regard for one another instead of a best friend. Usagi never thought anything more of it until one day it became quite clear that Mamoru had been developing affection for Michiru. Jealous and enraged, she kept her distance, which eventually brought her to Haruka. She would admit she was attracted. Who wouldn't be? She was fierce, teasing, and determined all wrapped up in one striking package. Haruka literally took her breath away. She was beautiful in all her magnificent glory and Usagi, no matter what sex she was, couldn't resist. They pinnacle of their relationship, which was only one week or two, was a fun and entrancing time. Except for a short kiss from Haruka, nothing scandalous or explicit happened. They had spent a lot of time together and she would like to think they did share a lot. At least she thought Haruka had shared a lot. Was it possible to fall in love two weeks? Usagi had no idea, but it felt pretty close to it.

Mamo-chan, however, was not romantically interested in Michiru, or at least not enough to pursue it, so she went back to Mamoru just as Haruka had returned to her lover. Obviously they had a deeper friendship from before, but things never progressed. Every one in a while, though, on an early Saturday morning every few months, when the rest of the senshi was sleeping, they met at this park, their special place.

"Not anymore," Usagi bitterly spat out loud.

From now on, this would be her detoxing area. She sat close to the crystal pond, which reflected the moon's silhouette on this quiet evening. It was well after nine PM, and no one else appeared to be at this park. And who would be? No person in their right mind would be in this area in Tokyo at night. Murderes? Ha, Usagi dealt with those on a daily basis. Kidnappers? Usagi had been kidnapped one too many times to count. Granted, they were usually to distance planets or universes, but it was all the same.

Rapists? She already felt raped. Of every emotion, of every thought, of every feeling. And it was with that thought that she pulled out her journal from her knapsack. The first entry started pre Seiya, pre Mamoru college, actually. The first line, dated July 16, began with happy lines of sweetness. Mamoru was mentioned quite frequently. And it was with that thought she ripped out the sheet, balled the paper up, and threw as hard as she could. The paper slowly floated until it touched the midnight pond, becoming thoroughly soaked. It was very freeing to watch.

Usagi's hands became not her own as they crazily tore paper after paper, balled them up, and continuously threw each and every scrap into the once clean water. Her jerky movements caused her journal to wobble, and upon this motion, a few postcards fell from the back of the binding. Postcards that Usagi had written to Mamoru and never sent. She angrily grabbed those as well and catapulted them into the pond.

The first journal page was now September 1st, and was starting to mention Seiya. The first round of spring-cleaning was done. Now on to the next, she thought, as she began to tear all the pages mentioning the singer's name.

On September 26th, she found a page where not only did it describe her relationship with Seiya progressing, but a sweet note he, or she, had left on her desk. Without thinking she threw this paper after the others. And promptly regretted it.

With a horrified schreech, she leapt after the paper, head first into the park's pond, her hand clenching sporadically as it searched for the small piece of paper. As silly as it was, and as hopeless as it was, Seiya's note of affection still warmed her heart and was something dear to her. No matter that he wasn't even acknowledging her presence.

"USAGI! What the fuck are you doing?"

Terrified, and drenched, Usagi forced herself to turn around, Seiya's drenched note in her hand, and was met the disbelieving eyes of Tenoh Haruka.

Usagi's spring-cleaning would come to an end for tonight, it seemed.


	4. Chapter 189B

Gomen nasai! I suck. I cannot believe how much I suck. For those still sticking around, I thank you. Life has been crazy, which it always is, but I actually have been putting other things on hold to finally get this chapter out! I still don't know how I feel about. I've re-written the ending three different ways, this last one, the most natural, and most real. It's crazy how your fingers have a mind of their own. Anyway, with further ado, here you go. Reviews, as always, are my muse. I'm interested to know whatcha think. A little shout out to **Ruby Nury **who kicked my ass in gear and finally inspired to me to finish the dang thing. Much love.

* * *

Haruka honestly did not know how to respond to the image set before her. Usagi, her stupid, idotic Usagi, looked like a human water fountain, her long pigtails pouring water from its tips. Her eyes were wide, the stereotypical deer caught in a headlight. Slowly, Usagi started walking out of the pond. The one where she had submerged herself in at ten fucking o clock at night. Did the girl not have any sense? Sure, jump in a pond, where your reaction time is significantly slowed down, at night, at a park, on the outskirts of town.

The first emotion that she first experienced was anger. Haruka wanted to leap across the few feet separating them to throttle her misguided friend. One of Haruka's downfalls, she herself knew, was once a person's safety whom she cared for was compromised, she became one of the most overbearing females. Michiru and Hotaru had witnessed this on multiple occasions. Knowing that Usagi had been in danger, and she wasn't there to save her, unnverved Haruka. Perhaps the anger also came from the fact that Usagi was intentionally avoiding her. Maybe she shouldn't take to personally, for she seemed to be dismissing the rest of the senshi, but dammit, her and Usagi were different. They had always been different. Now, Haruka felt replaced. From what, she didn't know.

Trying to school her expression, Haruka briefly entertained the idea of feigning ignorance if Usagi had received her phone messages. And then quickly dismissed it. Why beat around the damn metaphorical bush?

Usagi, who finally stepped out of the pond, was currently squeezing her long ponytails as excess water showered out. Her expression was pensive and guarded.

Haruka walked closer to her and calmly asked, "Usagi, what is going on?"

There was no response.

Stifling a sigh, Haruka continued. "I've been calling you for weeks; Mina, instead, calls me desperately asking if we talked because you apparently were attacked and the enemy knows you identity and now those damn idols are the Sailor Starlights. Is there a reason you failed to communicate anything to me?"

The shorter blond didn't disappoint. "I'm not avoiding you." And, then ironically, walked around Haruka, knapsack in hand, as if she was going to leave. _Not avoiding, my ass._

"Odango, are you seriously walking away from me?" Haruka turned and lightly grabbed Usagi's shoulder to pull her back.

Usagi flinched, whipping her face back towards Haruka. "Don't touch me," she spat. "Save that for Michiru."

Dumbfounded, it was Haruka's turn to stare at Usagi in shock. There was such venom in her voice, venom that was never directed towards her.

"Koneko-chan," Haruka began.

"Don't call me that," Usagi all but yelled. "Stop this mascarade! I'm not this special person where we have a special relationship, that is all so _special!_" Her hands flayed about as she pronounced each "special".

"Usagi-"

"You have a _specia_l little family now, with Michiru and Hotaru!"

It was then that realization dawned on Haruka as she tried to decipher Usagi's verbal explosion.

"Are you jealous?" she asked.

Silence broke out. Usagi blinked. "Jealous?"

Haruka nodded.

"Jealous of what?"

"My family."

Usagi immediately burst into laughter. This was not giggles, nor chuckles, but a full out, cackling. She made quite a sight. The poor girl was shivering head to toe, her arms wrapped protectively across her chest as if she could keep in some of her own warmth. And now she was laughing like a maniac. Haruka wondered if she finally lost it. It's wouldn't have been unreasonable. Sailor Moon had been through enough anguish and turmoil to last a lifetime.

"Usa, are you okay?"

"Haruka, I already have a _family_! Don't worry about me, I have a future daughter and f_ucking _emotional absent husband to look forward to!"

It was then that Haruka took a step back, distancing herself. Sad Usagi, Upbeat Usagi, Whiney Usagi, Mad Usagi, Ignorant Usagi….these were all Usagis Haruka could deal with. But this woman before her, she did not recognize. She did not recognize these raw emotions. Frankly, she wondered if the girl was having a mental breakdown.

She tried again. "Usagi-"

"Yes, I've been avoiding you," she interrupted. "I've been avoiding everyone. Because no one understands!" Her voice seemed to grow louder with each sentence. "'Usagi, stay away from the Starlights', 'Usagi think of Mamoru', 'Usagi, stop hanging out with Seiya'. Well, Seiya was the only one who was there for me. You sure as hell weren't! You were too busy playing daddy. Seiya was the only person who understood and made life bearable. And now he's not here, because you and everyone else once again, think you know what's best for me. Seiya was there. He-"

"You might as well stop saying he, Usagi" Haruka finally snapped. "Seiya is a woman, if what Minako told me is true. Are you a lesbien?"

Usagi mouth started to twitch. Haruka had never seen this face before. She concluded it must be rage.

"Aren't you? God forbid Usagi have a close relationship with someone who isn't a senshi-"

"No," she said coldly, "God forbid Usagi have an inappropriate relationship with someone who isn't Mamoru-san."

Another laugh escaped her mouth. "_Fuck _Mamoru-san! I have not heard one _damn _word from him since he boarded that airplane! So while you and everyone is busy trying to plan a wedding for the lukewarm groom, I think I can have one measley relationship with a girl. You're such a hypocrite! Who are you to be disgusted if I love a girl?"

"Because if you are going to love any girl, it's supposed to be me!" Haruka roared.

Silence once again filled the air.

So much for her being calm and collected. _Shit_. Haruka sighed. "Gomen nasai, Odango, I shouldn't have said that."

Haruka searched for her eyes only to find them clouding with tears. This wasn't new—she had seen her leader's eyes watery many times, but she rarely saw them fall. Tonight, Usagi was letting them fall.

"'Ruka," she choked out. "You never would let me." Usagi closed her eyes as silent tears streaked her face.

"Odango," Haruka whispered. She grabbed her hand and led her to the nearest bench just a few feet away. Pulling Usagi in her lap, Haruka whispered, "It's okay. Everything's fine."

"No, it's not. Everything pretty much is ruined." Usagi arms looped themselves around Haruka's neck as she buried her face in the crook of Haruka's neck.

Haruka briefly wandered if she was dreaming. She had an armful of Usagi in her lap after just basically blurting out she had feelings for her.

An annoying vibrating noise broke Haruka from her thoughts. She distantly watched as Usagi perked up and almost desperately started digging in her knapsack for her cell phone. After securing the device in her hand, she frantically read the caller ID, before rolling her eyes and un-delicately throwing the phone back in her bag.

"Where you waiting for a call?"

She shrugged. "It's just the inner senshi. It doesn't matter."

"Where you waiting for a call?" she asked again.

Usagi didn't answer.

"Were you waiting for maybe _Seiya's_ call?"

Usagi flinched as she heard the bitterness in Haruka's tone.

Her eyes flew to the ground and she scurried off of Haruka's lap almost to apologize for her transgression. It took her a second, but finally, she courageously looked into Haruka's face. "Hai. I was hoping it was him." She winced and corrected herself, "Her."

Usagi turned around, for the second time that night, as if to walk away from Haruka. But she wasn't having it. In a split second, Haruka jumped off the bench and pushed Usagi into the tree growing right by the bench. Haruka was unbearably close to Usagi, her chest and body colliding with the smaller women. Any passerby, if there were any at the time of night, would mistakenly think they were sharing an embrace. However, there was nothing sweet, nor pure about this hold. Haruka was acting on pure instinct. Hurt, jealousy, possessiveness, and control turned out not to be the most healthy combination.

"Usagi," she whispered deadly. "I am only going to tell you this once."

Usagi, for her part, seemed shocked at Haruka's reaction. She didn't seem scared, but rather bewildered. Haruka could make out the faint blush on her cheeks, on how her breathing automatically increased.

"You are not to be with Seiya alone," Haruka continued. "You are not his princess. You are _mine_."

And with that declaration, Haruka, roughly stole a kiss from her. Quite literally stole, for Haruka didn't care if Usagi was receptive or not. Unfortunately, Usagi's lips, unlike her still wet body, were quite warm and soft. What started off as a demanding kiss, almost as a punishment, quickly and quite pathetically, softened once her partner shly started to kiss back.

It was only when Usagi started to respond, common sense started to rear its ugly head against her guttural instincts.

Haruka yanked her head away from Usagi. "_Fuck. _Fuck. Fuck."

Against better reason, she turned to see Usagi breathing heavily while licking her lips. She looked dazed. And completely irresistible.

_ No!_ Haruka thought. _Stop. Michiru. Michiru. Michiru._

Agitated, she pulled her hand through her blond hair, and took several steps back. "I can't think right now. Just…we're going to talk tomorrow. " Just as she was about to turn around and flee, she looked at Usagi dead in the eye, waiting until Usagi met her gaze.

"I mean it Odango, stay away from her. I will kill her if she touches you."

And without another glance for fear of losing control again, Haruka ran through Lotus Garden Park, cursing the existence of Kou Seiya each time her foot hit the pavement.


	5. Chapter 190

Minna-san! Look at me! Updating so soon! I'm proud, I hope you are too. Anyway, here you go. I don't know how I feel about last chapter so I might be editing it in the near future. I had to do a re-write with this one, but I'm glad how it turned out. As always, reviews are food to my writing soul. Enjoy! Thanks for reading!

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As the striking beams of daylight streamed through her window, Usagi reluctantly opened her eyes. Blinking rapidly, she let her eyes adjust to the sunshine interrupting her slumber. A hazy fog settled on her brain and confusion clouded her mind. Determining there a catalyst that caused her to wake, she glanced up to see the cause of her interruption. And saw two bright yellow eyes narrowing at her. _Cat_-alyst indeed.

"Hai, Luna?" her morning voice choked out. Usagi quickly cleared her throat as the suspicious cat simply answered, "Haruka's on the phone. Your mother has been yelling at you for the last ten minutes." She could feel her eyes widen in alarm at the proclamation. Coughing again, she avoided Luna's eyes and picked up the receiver on her nightstand.

The cat gave a disdainful sniff and pattered out of the bedroom, slamming the door shut with her foot. Usagi couldn't help but grimace. As the previous night started slowing filtering through her mind, she started to experience the emotional hangover.

The emotional hangover was something Usagi knew all too well. She didn't know if this was the technical name for it, nor did she know if other people experienced this, but she was unhealthily familiar with this feeling. It usually happened the morning after she had been particularly emotional. When tears were involved. When people were involved to witness the tears and the emotions. Usagi was the absolute master at hiding her feelings, keeping them deep down at bay, as anxiety and fear bubbled around her gut. Sure, some people would describe her as an open book, as she jumped from one rollercoaster of emotion to the next. However, she had a whole gallery of secrets her closest confidants didn't even know existed. When she had those rare moments where she paraded her emotions she so carefully buried, embarrassment was an understatement. Utter and encompassing mortification seemed more fitting.

And oh, what a dose of emotional hangover she was feeling right now. Her first instinct was to believe it was all just a dream. She had envisioned a particular shameful emotional outburst through her dreams, and no really, Usagi, there's no reason to fret. Unfortunately, usually the next step was admitting that indeed what she had imagined actually happened.

Just thinking about the events at the park, turned her face a nice fiery red. It wasn't even the affection that had been displayed between her and Haruka that made her body thum with regret. It was her being way too honest and way too emotional that quite frankly made her want to sink into her mattress and, well, die. Damn Haruka and her confrontational personality. Why couldn't she be passive aggressive and they could forget the previous night ever happened?

Against her better judgment, she clicked the button on the cordless phone, and put her ear to the receiver. She heard her mom having an in depth conversation with Haruka.

"Mom," she sternly interrupted just as the elder Tsukino started to talk about her errands for the day. "I'm up. You can leave Haruka alone."

She heard her mom huff. "Well, there you are. Haruka, have a wonderful time at the concert. Tell Mirichu I said good luck. Ja ne!"

The line clicked as Usagi's mom hung up. Usagi didn't say anything. Frankly she didn't know what to say, nor did she want to say anything. As far as she was concerned, last night never happened.

"Usa?" Haruka finally asked after a few moments of silence.

"Hai," Usagi responded. She sat up in her bed and her right hand automatically reached to her forehead to massage her temples. She didn't have a headache yet, but she fully expected one.

"How are you?"

"Fine. Did you need something?"

"Well, you weren't answering your phone this morning. I figured I'd try your home number."

Usagi sighed. "'Ruka, it's-" her eyes glanced at her alarm clock. "SEVEN A.M.? Why are you calling me at seven a.m. on a Saturday?"

"Gomen, I was going to call later. I forgot Michiru had a concert this afternoon. We're two hours away from Tokyo right now."

"I'm guessing Michiru is sound checking right now?"

"Hai, right now would be the only time I could get away."

"Right," she muttered. _No time like the present to deal with uncomfortable awkward conversations_, she thought sarcastically.

"Odango, I want to apologize for last night. I never should have said those things to you last night. I wasn't acting as your protector; I was just acting selfish. I cannot control what you do."

Usagi was stunned. She didn't think she had ever heard the tomboy apologize before. It was rather unsettling.

"Don't worry about it," she finally forced out. In actuality, Usagi was beyond relieved they weren't talking about her outburst. The outburst that included her admitting she hadn't spoke to Mamo-chan for months.

"However," Haruka's voice turned stern. "As your protector whose number one priority is your safety, I do not think it's wise for you to speak with Seiya. She is an alien and we do not know her agenda. And I fully plan on communicating that message to all the Starlights. I think you know that Taiki and Yaten will agree with me."

Usagi didn't respond. As Haruka lectured, she detachedly looked around her room, which resembled a clothes dump. _I need to clean up_, she thought passively.

"Usagi?"

"Hai?" Maybe if she just ignored everything Haruka said, she could get off the phone.

"Usa," her voice turned soft in a very un-Haruka like way. "I'm worried about you. You told me Mamoru hasn't contacted you."

"I was overacting," she lied. "You know me, if I'm not the center of attention, I make a fuss. He's very busy with his studies."

"Oh, okay, is he studying right now?"

Usagi's eyes narrowed on their own accord. She didn't know if she was angry the girl was calling her bluff or for continuing this god-awful conversation. But now she was on the defensive. "Haruka, don't call me first thing in the morning, while you're at your girlfriend's concert and start interrogating me. I get it. You're my senshi, you need to say your piece in regards to my safety, fine. But my love life has nothing to do with you." She was quite proud her voiced remained calm.

"We _kissed _each other Usa, that's why it has something to do with me. Or are you going to ignore it?"

"I honestly almost forgot about it," she bit back. Which was sort of true. Usagi was so concerned about her vulnerability she displayed, the kiss was the least of her worries.

There was sigh on the other line. "Usagi, yes you do remember. You're just doing what you always do. If you feel threatened, you just bury it deep down and try to forget. I don't work like that. I admit there's chemistry between us. I have feelings for you. And I know you have feelings for me. Before Seiya came into the picture, we were fine. You told me everything."

"No, Haruka," Usagi whispered, her body started to curl in a ball as if it could stop the emotions from tumbling out of her body. "We were fine until you decided to have a family."

"I did not decide to have a family."

"You picked Michiru over me. You picked Hotaru over me."

"I did not-"

"Haruka, where are you right now?" her voice remained soft. "You're at Michiru's concert. You could have chose to stay behind, to come to my house to talk at a decent hour, but you chose to travel with her. You want to be my personal mirror and hold it up to my face? Fine, I'll do the same to you. You're choosing Michiru every day. _You_ drove me into Seiya's arms." With that final statement, Usagi hung up the phone.

Laying back down, still wrapped in a ball, she hugged her knees to her chest. Although she hated to admit it, she knew Haruka was right that she shouldn't be talking to Seiya right now. It hurt like hell, but there was a huge conflict of interest. The other Starlights had a right to hate Usagi, for she was guiding them off the path of finding their princess. Perhaps the only problem here was Usagi's brokenness and cowardness. She hated feeling lonely, feeling empty. It seems she had a nasty habit of reaching out to women who were unattainable and unavailable. As her sobering thoughts continued, she finally managed to drift into a restless sleep.

* * *

Six hours later, she was crying again. So much for getting rid of this damn hangover.

* * *

Seven hours later, as she poured over her statistics book, trying to remember the formula for standard deviations, her cell phone started to ring. At first she started to ignore it, until she was awarded a loud "Ahem!" from Luna. Reaching in her bag for her phone, she saw the blinking name "Seiya Kou" run across her screen. Her eyes and heart shut closed.

"Who is it?" Luna asked.

Usagi didn't respond.

"If it's the senshi, you need to respond."

Usagi turned around from her desk to look at Luna. "Define senshi."

Luna's face visibly softened. "Is it Seiya?"

"Not anymore," she grumbled bitterly, pressing the ignore button.

* * *

Eight hours later, apparently Seiya didn't like being ignored. Usagi was scratching her head vehemently as she tried to find z scores when her phone rang for the tenth time. Ignoring it, she spoke aloud, "I think z equals x minus mean divided by standard deviation?"

She turned around in her to chair. "Does that sound right?"

Her phone stopped ringing. Then promptly started ringing again.

Luna eyes flew to the ceiling as she thought about the math statement. "I have no idea. Call Ami-chan?"

Just as Usagi answered, "Nah," her phone rang again.

"Maybe you should just answer it," Luna advised.

Shaking, Usagi grabbed the cellular device and shut it off. "Look. No ringing. Problem solved."

"Usagi-chan," began Luna.

Usagi's head dropped to her desk with a loud thump. "What?" she whined.

"Are you okay?"

_No. I am most definitely not._

"Iie."

Luna scurried across the room and leapt on Usagi's desk in two jumps. Planting her bottom on Usagi's textbook, she stared up pensively at her owner. "You don't have to tell me everything, Usagi. I can't control you."

Usagi thought it was odd that was the second time she head that statement today.

"But," Luna continued. "You know I'm here to listen. You know you can share whatever you want. No judgment."

Usagi gave a half-smile and looked away to gaze out the window. She saw two kids playing tag across the street. She felt a pang in her chest when she realized how carefree they looked.

Turning back to Luna, she shrugged her shoulders and thought, _Why not?_

"Haruka kiss me yesterday."

Luna sat still. "Okay," she finally responded.

"After she told me I wasn't to see Seiya. After I said some things I shouldn't have said."

Luna, although quiet, seemed unimpressed.

Usagi was rather disappointed with her guardian's response.

"Isn't that weird to you? You know, since she's with Michiru? Since I'm with someone? Did I mention I kissed her back? "

Luna's nose rose in the air. "I've heard stranger things, actually. Besides, with you and Haruka's history, I'm not surprised."

"Our history? You mean when we were fighting against each other at one point?"

"No, Usagi-chan," Luna rolled her eyes. "In the silver millennium."

She snorted. "Since I remember everything from then."

Luna sighed. "I forget you girls don't remember everything."

Usagi contemplated swatting the cat for her assumptions. Truth be told, though, she was relieved at their banter. They hadn't spoken in weeks.

Picking up her pencil as she wrote down the next math problem, she nonchalantly asked, "So what was our history in the silver millennium?"

The cat rose on all fours and jumped off the desk to pace. "You and Uranus were close. She was the head guard of the senshi, but your best confidant as well." She stared at the floor. "Granted, this was before either of you had met Prince Endymion or Neptune. But you grew up with her. We in the royal court always wondered about your relationship. Uranus was very affectionate with you publically."

Luna stopped pacing as the memories coursed through her mind. "Granted, it wasn't uncommon for a royal to have a close relationship as so with a guardian. And it wasn't taboo for women to fall in love with each other like it is now. But at the end of it all, she was just your guardian and you were the princess of the galaxy." She then smiled wistfully. "I guess not that all has changed. Duty over heart. Duty over dreams. Duty over life."

Usagi was dumbfounded as Luna explained herself and Uranus from such an earlier time. It was so…ideal. Actually it reminded her of English and Spanish monarchs she learned in her history class last year. They had spouses for title alone, but had their own, intimate lovers.

Shaking her head to clear it, she quickly banished the thought. _Usagi, no. She has Michiru. She is not available for friends with benefits. _ "I wonder why neither one of us remembers that."

Luna scoffed. "Whose to say Haruka doesn't remember it? After all, it seems you're the one in denial about your relationship."

Now, Usagi really stood up straight in her seat. Could that be it? Haruka remembered a past that she didn't? That would explain her warm acceptance to Mamo-chan and her livid hatred to Seiya. Was it because Haruka and Haruka alone was supposed to be the only intimate female friend of the moon princess?

Before she could overanalyze any more feelings, she felt the unwelcome, but too common feeling of danger in her gut. "Oh shit," she whispered. "The others are transforming."

"Okay," Luna's speech was rushed. "You need to listen to me. We have a plan considering the last encounter."

"A plan? Whose we? "

"Usagi, your star seed is at stake, don't argue!" she yelled. "Transform right now and I'll explain on the way."

As Usagi reached in the air and shouted her incantation, she couldn't help but dread the knowledge that she would be running into Haruka and Seiya tonight.


End file.
